State Laws
A
fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits
men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that
way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating
male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and
whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
It
is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
A
license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
The
penalty for jumping off a building is death.
New
Yorkers cannot dissolve a marriage for irreconcilable differences, unless they
both agree to it. That rarely happens, since one party regularly says "no"
to the other, or there wouldn't be a reason to dissolve the marriage. If one
of the spouses says "no" to the divorce, the other party has to prove
that the spouse saying "no" was at fault. Fault could be one of four
terrible things. If the spouse has abandoned the other spouse, that is, left
the house for a year or if there hasn't been sexual relations for a year (how
do you prove that?). Another one of the four terrible things, an oft cited fault,
is to assert that the spouse has treated the other spouse with physical or mental
cruelty. This is usually the case in most deteriorating marriages, but for the
court's purposes, yelling and screaming is not usually enough; pictures of bruises
taken in the emergency room might suffice. Divorce will be easy if the spouse
has been imprisoned for two or three years. Much more difficult is the last
fault, adultery. This keeps a lot of private detectives in business, since lipstick
on the collar is not proof. It also means that lawyers get paid to "prove"
fault, or on the other side, to show how lame the opposing side's "fault"
claim is.
A
person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.
While
riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking
toward the door.
Slippers
are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.
City Laws
Carmel
A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
Greene
During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.
New
York
Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and
wiggling the fingers".
It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing."
You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building.
Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.
Staten
Island
You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand.
It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer"
in an effort to curb "girlie behavior."